Wednesday, July 9, 2014

A Man Goes to His Doctor for an Annual Physical and a Horse is Brought into the Examining Room

A Man Goes to His Doctor for an Annual Physical and a Horse is Brought into the Examining Room Learning from Obama Care Lex Loeb Contributor Network . A man goes to his doctor's office for his annual physical. The receptionist leads him into the examining room after weighing him. She takes his pulse and blood pressure and has him strip down to his underwear. She tells the man to wait for the doctor and shuts the door behind her. About ten minutes later there is a knock on the door and in pops Senator Ron Wyden, With a pudgy little man with a brief case. "Whats going on ? Is this a town hall meeting or my annual health checkup? The senator says, "Oh , I'm sorry , this is Obama care and this is your assigned health care IRS agent Stanley." "So why are you here Senator Ron Wyden?" "Oh, I am here to check up on your check up because I am concerned about you. As you know I am running for office again and I want to be sure everyone is happy with Obama care before I seek a special waiver for the State of Oregon. If you are concerned about privacy don't worry there is none for anyone any more because otherwise we in Congress can't help you with your health care needs, In a few minutes your health care probation officer will arrive. She is a registered social worker we have assigned to you because of your health issues. My friend Stanley from the IRS has been doing your health care audit and he found that you have way too much health care coverage and that you owe the government over $19.000 .00 for having too much coverage. Stanley would like to go over your account figures with you and have you sign a couple of papers to settle these and other important issues." There is a knock on the door and in walks an Obama care social worker probation officer who calls herself Barbara C and an FBI environmental health care specialist who flashes his badge by the name of Guy. Senator Ron Wyden opens his mouth to explain. "Obama Care is a really complicated process. You supported the legislation didn't you Mr Ziggler?" "Yes I did" said the patient, "But I did not think it would turn my visit to my doctor into a town hall meeting or into the process of getting the first degree." The FBI health care specialist says, "I think he may need to have a lie detector test before he sees the doctor.." The Health care social worker has a stack of forms to fill out in hand, "We need this information before you can see your doctor there appears to be a problem with your medical records." There is a knock on the examining room door and in pops the receptionist with a horse. "The doctor will be with you momentarily, she says and leaves the horse in the room with the patient, the senator the FBI health specialist, the IRS health audit agent and the probation officer. The man says, "What the Hell is going on here? Senator Ron Wyden says, "its a horse." A half hour goes by with interrogation and filling out forms and signing papers the patient never gets to fully read and there is a knock at the door. In pops the doctor who says, "I see you are having a town hall meeting," "What is going on doctor?", Says the patient,. "This is Obama care." "I can understand the senator and the government employees but why the horse?" The doctor looks down at his feet and then over at the horse and says, "Just what I told you. I can no longer afford to work exclusively as a doctor under Obama care so I have become a veterinarian." The man goes home and calls his cousin in San Francisco about his strange physical with a horse in the examination room. The cousin says, "I am not surprised. I just had my annual physical and Nancy Pelosi came into the examination room when I was naked with a couple of health care IRS agents , An FBI environmental health care agent and my health care probation officers and they gave me a $40,000 bill for having too much health care insurance. What really made me mad is that Nancy Pelosi said she is really concerned about my health and asked me if my body hair was astro turf." "It could be worse than having Senator Ron Wyden at your annual physical? "Well Yes, the government has to know everything about your finances and your body in order to improve your health care and health care for society." "We at least you did not have a horse in the examination room." "No This is San Francisco, Nancy Pelosi brought her private chamber orchestra because she wanted live music for her visit to the live video web cast of my annual physical. It made her look so much more dignified thanks to the chamber orchestra." Back in Michigan Senator Dingle is visiting a patient having brain surgery under obama care in the John Dingle Medical Center. The patient is having the anti-Obama part of his brain removed because of what he said on his conservative AM radio talk show. Dingle is wearing blue scrubs , glove and a mask , He asks the doctor how he likes Obama care. "Oh I love my job, Before Obama care I was unemployed ever since the post office laid me off and now every day I go to work and love my job doing 50 anti ABM lobotomy's a day. I love this job. I turn Obama haters in to Obama lovers which is what Obama care is all about. After work I go home to relax and run a side business running a neighborhood medical marijuana clinic. As a doctor I love helping people." "Me too says the senator, I like coming into the hospital to watch the surgeons change people's mind about national health care thanks to the new obama care legislation. It is inspirational to see people change this quickly. Dingle reaches down to the floor and picks up a small bloody piece of a human brain dropped on the floor, "This is the only thing that made him hate the president. I am going to take this back to Washington DC and donate it to the Smithsonian." Back in Oregon the man goes back to his doctor for his physical the next day because the doctor only had time for his horse patient. The receptionist says, "Mr Ziggler, I am afraid you no longer have an appointment." "What the doctor is now only a veterinarian for horses?" "No Sir, " She says, "I am afraid you are going to need to get yourself a health care attorney to represent you. Because of Obama care you now need to hire an attorney to represent you at your doctor's appointment. " "What?" "Well we do the physical on the attorney representing you so you won't incriminate yourself with your health care records. I have a list of health care attorneys in the area willing to represent you." "How much do they cost?" "Only around three hundred dollars an hour but they only charge you a fraction of that because they have already been in for their physical. It is usually just $150 for your appointment." "What if the lawyer is sick? You know has cancer or heart disease? Do I get treated for that or does he as my legal Obama care representative?" "Sir you always have to be careful when you choose an attorney to represent you even a health care system lawyer. Some people can afford to have a team of lawyers come into the their Obama care doctor for them. You know, like the the OJ dream team. One of the lawyers takes off his shirt and another opens his mouth and says awe and another takes off his pants. You may not be able to buy the best health care anymore but you can still buy the best lawyers. Nothing in Obama care prevents that If you can't afford a personal legal heath representative you can just opt for alternative medicine that is except from Obama care. There is a medical Marijuana clinic across the hall. They still take medicare.." " Yesterday a horse took my appointment from me. I have a sick dog who needs care. I don't know if they take dogs at Medical Marijuana clinics?" "The doctor only sees pets who have private insurance. Does your dog have private insurance or Medicare?" The Next day completely Fed up with the new health care system under Obama Care Mr Ziggler decides to go try out the Medical Marijuana Center across from the public elementary school in his neighborhood. He walks in to ask if he needs an appointment only to see a horse in the waiting room. "Why is there a horse in the waiting room?" "Oh because he no longer has medicare." . Close

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