Animal Rights To Smoke.

Chain Smoking Monkeys at Oregon Sciences University Have Animal Rights Activists Going Ape! Three Packs a Day Monkey Experiments is This Animal Abuse or is it the Right to Smoke in Your Cage? Lex Loeb Contributor Network . Is animal research proving to be worthless? Millions of dollars of public funding have gone into a project with NIH backing to prove that smoking causes cancer. Monkeys with a trained 3 pack a day habit insist on smoking only Camels. Cigarette smoke does not cause cancer in laboratory animals according to research data supplied by chain smoking monkeys since 1962. According to sources, the issue may not be about animal abuse now but about the right to smoke in cages. The little spider monkeys sit around and puff all day on cigarettes in cages. It leaves them little time to eat or drink so they don't become overweight in their sedentary confined spaces. The coalition to abolish animal smoking is very unhappy. Tens of millions of dollars have gone into this project. Then some of the trained smoking monkeys escaped from the primate center into the wild Northwest and have become a public health hazard. Everyday now in Oregon one passes a convince store and sees monkeys attempting to steal cigarettes to keep up the habit. They also steal lighters and matches. On the roof lots of many seven elevens you see a monkey lighting up smokes and taking long drags. It has become very dangerous because many just toss the lit cigarettes away after smoking the cigarette less than half way causing many fires in the dry seasons. The Oregon legislature still wants to make the smoking monkey the new state animal since god damn salmon can't smoke under water. Oregon is dependent on the tax revenues of more than 12 dollars a pack and revenue declines as people quickly learn to roll their own. Smoking monkeys still have not be properly trained to roll their own before smoking and they may be the last opportunity for the state to cash in on a bad habit. What kind of sin is it for a monkey to smoke camels? The state legislature is voting on a statue to make it legal to give cigarettes to smoking monkeys since the monkeys have no cash to buy them . Anything to generate revenue. The chief researcher at Oregon Sciences University is pleased with the smoking monkey research especially since the discovery was published that showed that monkeys who smoke in bars have more one night stands than those who stay home in cages . "This is great science" If you see a monkey on a sidewalk picking off chewing gum ground into the pavement it would be nice to offer him a pack of camels. He is only after the chewing gum because he ran out of finding cigarette butts. Poor little thing is desperate for another smoke. This is science at it's best . It is wise to ignore animal rights activists who are trying to prevent monkeys from having their desired pleasures. It is the Cigar smoking monkeys on cell phones who need to be banned. For more information on how to contribute cartons of cigarettes to Oregon Primates in cages or outside of convince stores please contact the primate center or the state legislature smoking primate hotline. It is always a great time to give back to society for the sake of animals in need. .