Tuesday, July 8, 2014

Having A Little Chicken For Dinner or Having Chicken Little For Dinner....

Chicken Little Dinner Lex Loeb Contributor Network . I met chicken little at a global climate conference after seeing him up on the lecture stage holding up the piece of sky that had fallen down on him. The audience was in awe as he picked it up off the ground almost effortlessly and raised it above his head. There was a collective ooh and ah in the audience as he held it over his head and then lowered it and blew it out into the audience. "The sky is falling down" he said, "This proof positive. Something harsh must be done. This is an emergency." I had never seen anything like except for the talking chicken which one sees every day on television. "The world is in danger. I hope that you all have umbrellas." I was one of the few people in the audience not to have an umbrella so I was lucky enough to have both hands free and I caught the piece of fallen sky and held it high above my head to clear the nearby open umbrellas. "Ah I see you caught the piece of fallen sky sir or you have two questions to ask of me?" "Yes I have the shard of sky in my hands." "Please bring it up to the stage then because your hands in the air are distracting me and have a seat up here so you don't continue to annoy the audience." I did what he said and walking up to the stage started to wonder if the chicken I had thought was a he might be a she. aren't all chickens shes? Why are all these people listening to a chicken I started to wonder? Don't all chickens just have bird brains?" I set the piece of sky up on the stage and sat down on the folding seat right next to it. Al Gore came into the room with expressions of a wise old owl on his face. He tripped on the piece of fallen sky because he was not looking where he was going or he just did not see it and looked as if he might have broken a bone he was chewing on. He got up, walked over to the podium next to Chicken little who introduced him as the Nobel prize winning Oscar winning former vice president that he was and told the audience that Al had the solution to saving the sky from continuing to fall on all of us. Al wiped his brow and looked extra stern. He walked over to the piece of sky on the ground and lifted it above his head and said, "This is unacceptable. One piece of sky falls and no one would have seen or heard it had it not come down on the head of our little friend chicken little. This is a sign that we definitely have a world wide emergency. If any more of the sky falls down what will we do? For all we know much of it has already fallen into the ocean and nobody noticed." Al Gore and Chicken little then both attempted to throw the piece of sky up in the air to see if they could restore the sky and it immediately came crashing down again. "It is not going to be easy to restore the sky. It is going to cost trillions of dollars just to get this little piece back up to where it belongs. I suggest we start now I am calling NASA." Chicken little nodded in a way that seem like she was about to around the stage pecking. I started to think that there might be more than one bird brain in the auditorium. I paid $700 to attend the global climate change conference . Because I was invited up on the stage I ended up seated between Al Gore and Chicken little at the dinner reception that followed. Chicken Little pecked at his food and Al Gore at the Chicken Parmesan which seemed a tad bit impolite sitting so close to Chicken Little. Chicken Little thanked me for catching the piece of sky that had broken off and fallen. "If I did not have that piece of sky no one would believe me. I get paid over $100,000 for each of these lectures thanks to having it. I would not want to lose it. It is hard find another piece of sky you know." "Is that so? ", said Al Gore on the other side of me, "I only get paid $50,000 for every one of these lectures, Chicken Little maybe you can lend it to me?" .

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