Tuesday, July 8, 2014
The Official Political Platform of the Beneficent Progressive World Domination Party for Peace and Prosperity
The Official Political Platform of the Beneficent Progressive World Domination Party for Peace and Prosperity Lex Loeb Contributor Network . Here is the candidate for president you always wanted. Some one who will really take care of you. I am Mad Lex Lexicon the Magnificent and I am running on the Benevolent Progressive World Domination Party Platform. I am going to change Americans not America. Are you ready to be transformed? Since you are just a mere human mortal and not a demagogue-god like me you know you need me and a resilient army of government professional care givers to take care of you and your family. The Benevolent Progressive World Domination Party offers you the only choice you have to get all the care and sharing you need. You know you are responsible for destroying the planet. You are a dirty animal with materialistic lust who lays waste to the planet. You don't need to be contained as much as your neighbors do. You can report your planetary abusive neighbors and we will put them in concentration camps to get them out of our environment to make it pure like a virgin mountain spring. You have too much and you need professional help giving it all away. People are starving to death in places in Asia and Africa because you are consuming more of than your share of the earth's resources. The Benevolent Progressive World Domination Party has the solution and you are the problem. You pay to little for energy and you use too much. You eat too much food and you pay too little for it. These are easy problems to correct and you will vote for me because I am here to guide you to absolute utopia. You agree that the US Constitution does not mean what it says which is why I will appoint special judges to the bench who will not only reinterpret the Constitution but will rewrite it . You were meant to serve the one world government not to exploit the world. You know you have too much liberty as you eat too much and gain too much weight putting your good health at risk. You need a government that has enough people working for it so to control what goes in your mouth before you can chew or swallow it. Every American at birth will be assigned a social worker to manage them so that no one abuses them. You will be tracked though out your life and have to undergo personal review process exams at regular intervals though out your life to be sure you have not achieve too much in life so as to be unfairly burdened with any excess wealth. Violators of the new rules will be taken away to fat burning concentration camps for a healthy nation. Repeat violators may need to be euthanized for the good of society and for world health. I promise this for a cleaner greener sustainable world today not tomorrow. We will send government employees into your home to be sure you brush your teeth and floss three times a day and they might even also deliver your mail. In the morning you will wake at the national wake up time 5 am and say your pledge of allegiance to the new America in front of your web cam or you will risk being fined and punished. Then you will do you morning exercises in front of the web cam. After that you will prepare to go to work in your new assigned position in society as a comrade and worker. You will get to work on time or you will be punished. Many of you will have brand new modes of employment as green workers such as professional licensed light bulb changers. Others will be union wage hole diggers or holed fillers because there maybe no shovel ready jobs available immediately. The state will decide how you live your life cycle. A commission will decide whom you can marry and procreate with and you won't have to waste time raising your children because they will be taken at birth to learn to be soldiers of the state. You will get paid for every quality child you produce that will work as a deduction from your income taxes. You can see the mess America made when everyone had too much liberty and freedom. That will no longer even be an issue. The state will decide where you can live , where you work, how you retire and if when you become senile, old and confused that you might just be better off euthanized. Which is why our party supports Obama care. Why waste the earth's resources on old people too old to enjoy them? What a pleasant retirement seniors will have being put out of their misery by the caring state. Old age is a waste of time except for people who can get an old age waiver from a Senator like Ron Wyden. You know you can't take care of yourselves as well as we can take care of you. We are your new family. Your State family. I am running as your big brother and you naturally trust me because I said it in familiar terms. You understand you always have the right to assisted suicide because our progressive party knows how hard it is to go on living in the world left to us by Americans before the 1960s revolution. We will confiscate everything you own so you will get your fair share and those less fortunate can share . Our redistribution plan is even more advanced than any that has come before in history. We will take care of your finances for you. You won't ever have to pay taxes again after we finish fixing the system because eventually instead of money you will just receive vouchers for the goods and services you are entitled to. It is not rationing. It is sharing. Instead of living your life in fear of death we will make it easier for you determining the exact date and time of your death and how you die as the finality of our cradle to grave program. We call it planned obsolesce. If you are an alcoholic don't worry you won't get any to abuse because there will be special duii camps for those who suffer with that problem. No problem will go unsolved in our new administration. Your carbon foot print is important to us. We are saving the earth. If you have a carbon foot print too large you will be terminated when you have reached the defined limit of the new law or you will have to work in greening to make up for it. You no longer have any worries. All your decisions will be made for you. You will have no challenges your every day life. You will never have to compete with anyone else. Everything you actually need will be provided for you. And the police will be watching you 24-7 to be sure you are happy and contented or else. This is what our progressive party is all about. You already agree obviously. Otherwise you probably need to see a psychiatrist and have electro shock therapy. There is no need for any mental illness in our new society. We don't want crazy people running around saying bad things about our beloved state government that rewards divisive behavior? Naturally you agree. Political Platform of the World Domination Progressive Alliance Party for Peace and Prosperity. I am running for president of the Earth as the candidate who will take away all your worries for ever more. You will never have to make any other life decisions once I am elected because as your personal dictator I will make all your decisions for you. You only have to make up your mind one time and give me your vote. You are used to a world where nothing in life is fair. Elect me and everything will be fair. I will see to it that everyone gets their fair share of everything there is to have. Sharing everything is everything which is why my platform calls for creating a fairness commission and it will decide what is fair for you to keep and what is fair for us to take to give to others. Property should all belong to the state. It is only fair that the state should be the private property of an emperor and that is the first step to making everything fair. You know it is time to be fair and realize you have your assigned place in the New Empire and if you go out side of that space you harm society. Now you are politically correct having read this and understood this and you will vote me your benevolent big brother and imperial dictator of the new world order of political correctness. Peace. Your loving Emperor, Savior and :President. .